am i to blame?

9 years ago,
she makes the decision to leave..
then, a few months later,
she decided to come back to us..

yesterday,
in the midst of anger,
she mentioned something that makes me wonder..

9 years ago,
when she's about to leave,
she told me,
that she's not the one to blame..
i live all my life after that,
being all pissed off and angry..
if she's not to blame,
than who is?
him?
no way!!
he is the pillar of this family..
he done nothing wrong..

but after the things she said yesterday,
i realise..
that i might just be the one to blame..
i drive her to an edge that she started that forbidden and wrong 'thing'..

am i the one to blame?
is it me that causes so much pain not only to myself, but to the others?

i'm sorry if this entry is well, too personal..
i can't help myself...
=(