my confession..

i have a confession to made..
i have eczema..
just what the hell is eczema u ask?

quoted from wikipedia
"The term "eczema" is broadly applied to a range of persistent skin conditions. These include dryness and recurring skin rashes characterized by one or more of these symptoms: redness, skin edema, itching and dryness, crusting, flaking, blistering, cracking, oozing, or bleeding. Areas of temporary skin discoloration are sometimes due to healed lesions, although scarring is rare."

i've had it all my life,
and recently,
it have gotten worse..

eczema does not have a cure..
it is the kind of disease you are doom to carry all ur life..
there are times when i got angry just by looking at it..
most of the times, i am just plain dissapointed..

although eczema is in no way contagious,
i noe it's hard to make people embrace, let alone accept that fact..
i know that when people notice the eczema patch on my hand, and feet, they will only look in disgust..
and i know, that when they see me scratching from the uncontrollable itch that comes along with eczema, they will never understand and just ask me to take another shower or clean my bedroom more..

although i am damn ready for whatever people think of me and my skin,
i guess the pain (and the itch) just don't go away..

eczema above all,
has cost me tremendous amount of self-confidence..
but it's like my father said,
"this is just another battle that life has prepared for us.."
so, i guess.. this is just another battle..
one of many that i've had and will have..

maybe you wonder,
why the hell did i decided to do this post..
well, this is my story right..
if u don't know this,
then, u don't really know me..

heaven sent..

OMG.. 1 and a half hour to go, the raining is pouring..
rain, rain, go away..
come again another day.
i don't want to get wet la this morning..
i'll be shivering like hell nanti..

final almost over.. almost.....!!

erm, had a rough one yesterday and today..
yesterday was the biology paper,
in the evening,
straight back home,
studying for law plak..
which is today morning at 8.30..

i woke up this morning,
all trembling and my feet is cold..
like somehow i've forgotten to take my dose of the day..
so, i pop 2 panadol actifast..
still, i felt dizzy..
my eyes just kinda blurry..
i basically got through the law paper with adrenaline,
pure adrenaline,
coz i've felt there's nothing left in me..

this evening,
when i got home,
i slept for 4 straight hours..
balas dendam tuh!!

erm, another paper to go..
wish me luck..